Monday, April 26, 2010

God Doesn't Like Ugly

Where has the time gone? As the years press on, I am this much closer to having a teenager in the house. I'm sure you know that with a teenager, whether male or female, comes the drama of the "tween" life. For me, I always thought this would be simple...after all, I didn't have girls... I never saw any of the boys my age go through the things I went through as a young girl. Ummm, not so much. It's a different kind of tween drama. I'm quickly learning that boys go through a different kind of drama, a sort of longing for acceptance if you will. I can see where these young men can easily fall off this treacherous path if not guided through life knowing the love of God and having the respect and love of a parent. Axton is only 11 years old and I have already seen changes in him. For those that don't know him, let me fill you in. Jax is his nickname, he is in the 5th grade this year. We are getting ready to make the big move into the middle school life. At first, I worried myself sick about this milestone. Why? You ask. It's not that I worried about him being mature enough, or even if he would have good friends and peers. I know that he is one smart cookie, so it wasn't even the fear of him falling short in his studies. It is in fact, the fear of the "real world". It's knowing he is no longer going to be exposed to something as small as the "elementary school" frame of mind. I am just now beginning to see all of the morals and values we have worked so hard to instill with in him coming into play. For example, he is currently playing baseball in a fairly competitive league. Jax has played with this same team now for two years. We feel truly blessed to be a part of such an amazing team. This year, the team received a new player. What you should know, is this, Axton and this young man have a sort of history. It started during football season last July. A sort of competitive battle ensued between the two boys. Our first day of school Axton goes into class, and low and behold, guess who is seated at Axton's table? I was extremely grateful when football season came to an end. I thought surely this battle would begin to ease a little. Boy, was I wrong. In everything and I do mean EVERYTHING that Ajax does, this young man feels the need to "one up" him. Whether it be in sports, PE, school work, or even girlfriends. Somehow, someway, this young man feels an empowering desire to be "better than" Axton. Do you know how hard it is to stay positive and show a positive level of adult maturity? All the while wanting to tell Axton to knock the kids block off! For those of you who don't know, I have been "blessed" with my father's patience and sharp tongue. This has definetly not worked in my favor :). For months now, I've listened to my son vent every day about how this young man has succeeded at getting under Axton's skin. There have been times when Scott and I, out of frustration, firmly tell Axton to ignore it. Generally, however, we listen and try to give the best advice possible given the situation. Yesterday the heavens opened, and the angels were singing. :) For the first time in all of this I saw this young man of ours exhibiting proof that he will soon be a stellar young man. He and I took a bike ride yesterday and ended up at the park by his school. We stopped there with his friend Nick to play a little hand ball. As we approached, we were greeted by a certain young man...(GOODY! I thought) Jax and Nick, being the respectful boys they are, said hello and asked if he and his brothers would like to play with us. Of course....they did. I was able to see first hand the behavior Axton had been telling me about. We weren't there but 5 minutes and the little punk had already tried to take off on Jax's bike, tackling him in the process, and was telling Axton how much he sucked at basketball because he missed a shot. As a mother bear, it took everything I had not to rip that child up by the hair on his head and read him the riot act. This behavior went on until Axton hit the "breaking point". He looked at this young man and said, "*---*(boy's name) God doesn't like ugly". :) He turned to me and said he was ready to go home. So, we hopped on the bikes and rode home. It wasn't until he and I were alone that I asked him about his statement. This is what he said, "Mom, I really dont like *---*. I try to be nice to him no matter how mean he is because God doesn't like ugly." I told him that I was proud of him because this behavior in return makes him the better person. I told him that I would have never been able to handle it like he did. He than said this, "It doesn't make me a better person, it just shows that God is in my heart and I don't have to be ugly to get my friends attention. I have God's attention and your's and dad's, what else could I need?"
It's not that our children are growing apart from us, it's that we are growing with our children. Growing in love with them more and more everyday. I look at Ax in a totally different light. He is a young man, growing more and more every day. He is loved and respected by his peers but more improtantly by us. For this I will forever be grateful! Thank you God for blessing me with three of the most amazing little men to ever walk the face of the earth.

Proverbs 10:13
Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgement.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Honey is Sweeter Than Vinegar

What a very eventful week I have had. Since last Tuesday I've been on a roller coaster ride that just wouldn't stop to let me off. That is, until I made it stop. So true is it, the closer we come to God, the harder Satan works and presses against us. Here I thought I was going along in life in my "perfect peace". All the while I was losing touch with those who matter most. Sometimes we find ourselves taking life for granted and this too was my demon. It took a true EYE OPENER and I do mean EYE OPENER to make me realize honey IS in fact sweeter than vinegar. Anytime I run myself ashore, my mother is always there to say...Muffy, honey is sweeter than vinegar, you have to pick your battles. Was she sooo RIGHT ON. Sadly it has taken me 15 years, the book, Song of Songs in the Bible, and the harsh reality that I was tearing my marriage to shreds to figure this out. I have looked to God for more advice with in the last few days than I have in all my life. These verses are finally what made me sit back, open my eyes, and check myself. Song of Songs 5:2-8
Instead of focusing on the positives in my life, I had learned to pick at all of the negative. Losing sight of what I had before me. We don't live in a "relationship savvy" society. In fact it's quite the opposite. Therefore we have to be each other's rock. When he needed me most, I pushed him away? MY needs were more important, at least I thought. How selfish can I be to think I never make a mistake?
Don't let my wake up call be your own. Don't let the evil one in before you realize how much you need, love, and appreciate your soul mate. Don't take for granted all of the things that he/she does for you...especially those of you who are a stay at home parent like myself. I promised to love, cherish, respect and honor Scott all the days of my life til death do us part. I didn't just promise it to him, I promised this to God as well. I am comforted now knowing my faults, accepting them, and am now striving everyday to improve myself. I am not only improving my faults though, I am rebuilding. The two "D" words will not be in this marriage's vocabulary...ever. I am talking about divorce or the devil. I pray everyday that God will give us the strength to empower our evils and win the battle. I know he will.
Take a minute everyday and let your spouse know how much he/she means to you. Tell them how much you appreciate, trust, and love them for all they do for you. Marriage is a bond that takes strength to build itself everyday. Strength to fight off the evil and survive the stresses of society. For this journey has made me realize I love this man before me now more than ever. I respect him now more than ever and most importantly WE need one another now more than ever.
Honey is in fact MUCH sweeter than vinegar...and yes...Mother does CERTAINLY know BEST! If only we could learn this lesson earlier in life :)