Friday, August 6, 2010


Is no news really good news? If you ask anyone in this Travis family they will all tell you no. I know that I am supposed to go on with life as if we were not WAITING for anything...but good grief. I waited to the last minute to enroll the kids, the last minute to sign Jax up for football and still we wait. Now, my Scooter is on vacation for a week so we will STILL know nothing. UGH! It's agonizing. If we are going, I wanted to be there in time for my kiddos to make some friends before school started. In Seattle they don't start until Sept 1. Now we are even cutting it too close for this. I told Scott, you watch we are going to have to pick up and move in the middle of the school year, because nothing can run smoothly for my crew. EVER! A good friend of mine posted something on her facebook the other day and it seemed to be just what I needed...she said...go ahead, you wanna make God laugh...make plans. Boy was she ever right! It's impossible! Where is my instruction manual, my guidance? I am one of these people that needs guidance in everything! And I do mean everything! I ask my best friend's opinion in every aspect of my life. Thank God she thinks with a level head in my crazy life. I don't know where I would be today. I love my Amy Jo!
For now, I will continue to sit and wait. If any of you have any suggestions while we wait, let me know lol!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Trudging Through the Mud, While Climbing the Tallest Mountain

This Mom is "back in session". The boys have returned after being gone for a week, I kinda forgot what it was like to have a responsibility :). I am however, so glad they made it safely home with Nana Monday night. More importantly they got to spend time with their great grandfather. These are the times for which they will always be grateful for. Best of all they are the perfect age to remember all of his Pop Pop'isms. For example when he calls Alyjah Ally Jo from the Alamo. Our Pop Pop Rocks!
Just after the 4th of July Jax played in the State Tournament with his baseball team the Derby Orioles I can't help but brag and tell you that his team took 3rd in the state of Kansas. Yes, you read that right, 3RD IN THE WHOLE STATE! All bragging rights aside I got to spend the weekend with a very good girlfriend of mine. We haven't been "good" friends for all that long, but over the last couple of years I have learned what an awesome spirit she is. This girlfriend of mine is in a "rough" spot right now and I pray for God to comfort her and give her peace on a daily basis. As the weekend rushed by us, and our chic chats came to an end, I found a quote that fit her perfectly. Just in time too. Having three boys in a Honda Civic does not leave much room for "adult conversation". So, I felt blessed to have found this quote before we were subject to nothing but PG rated conversations. Here is the quote...
Things happen for a reason. People change so we can learn to let go. Things go wrong, so that we can appreciate them when they go right. And good things often fall apart so that better things can fall together.
I noticed this morning that she had posted this quote on her facebook page. It was a good feeling to know that I had found something that could possibly ease her pain. Yet, as I read the quote it spoke to me today more than it did two weeks ago. Every sentence in these statements speaks volumes in my life right now. Why does it take me reading them on a Facebook wall to realize that there is so much truth behind every one of the statements?
Things happen for a reason. So many times we wonder who, what, when, where and why? It's all in the plan. Everything is paved and enscribed in our path. It's whether we trudge through the mud or look for the high road. Isn't the trudge what makes us who we are? It shapes us for what ever it is our future holds.
People change so we can learn to let go. A hard one for me to personally swallow. People are put in our lives to set an impression in one way or another. I believe it's all in how we handle the outcome that makes us who we are. Paths cross when you are both at a "trudging" point, then seperate when one of you takes the "high road". It isn't until you are both on the same path to salvation, aiding one another in the "trudge",that you realize how important you are in the life of one another. If your paths never cross again take what God intended for you to gain out of this relationship and use it to move mountains on your path of life. After all, do we not lead best by example?
Things go wrong so we can appreciate them when they go right. Learn from your mistakes, you are your worst critic. Pick up the pieces and learn to let go of what set you astray. These are the times our evils are lurking to intervene. Before long, the mud becomes your quick sand and you are struggling for air. If we could all just see how to make a mosaic out of the broken pieces it would be so much easier to trudge the mud. If Jesus had not picked up the pieces on his path to salvation where would we all be now? There's a deep thought for the day...
And good things often fall apart so that better things can fall together. So many times we catch ourselves asking God, "Can it get any worse?" It can always be worse. Why do we wait until we are seeing or hearing of something life altering or damaging in someone else's life before we realize that it can always be worse? It's almost sickening to think someone else's misery can be an eye opener for the rest of us. If we could all just live in the way God intended. If we could just realize our trudge through the mud currently in our way, is only drying some of the puddles that could create havoc in our future. Be there for one another, be someone's elses rock. "Study and teach the inspiration of the truth in Jesus because anyone can believe in Jesus, the awesomeoness is in following and loving him."
As for me, I can tell you there is so much going on in life right now,that is testing the trust I have in my own faith. I'm learning now more than ever that my mud puddles are out of my hands and I can only trudge through them as Jesus did for me. I have learned that for all things there is a bigger plan, that I definetly do not know the answers to. I continue to pray for His guidance through the mud or give me strength to conquer the mountains. Whether it be climbing over them or moving them, they are there for a reason and only He has the anwers. My faith is in Him as I look for a way to keep trudging my path and feel blessed that I am learning to give it all up to God.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

God Is On My Speed Dial

What an awesome weekend! I love being able to spend time with close family and friends during holiday weekends. It seems as though during the summer months, with everyone's busy schedules, holidays are the only weekends we are able to all get together. With Scott's brothers and himself being the "pyros" they are, any 4th of July celebration with us is sure to be phenomenal! This season proved nothing different. With Lonny's on Saturday and the Murray's on Sunday there was tons of fun to be had by all.
I thought today I would update everyone on the status of a possible move to Seattle, as well as a couple of other things that I have been praying for over the last few weeks.
Let me start with an update on the Lewis'. Lee and Natalie Lewis and their three girls came into our lives 3 years ago. Since then I could never imagine my life without them. Lee is like the brother that I never had, giving me a taste of my own with his fiery attitude to compete with mine. I know...can you imagine? I never in a million years would have thought I would meet my match in "hard headedness"...I have :). Trinity, Chloe, and Jasmine are nothing short of beautiful. Those three little girls could put a smile on anyones face. They give their mommy and daddy one heck of a run for their money, but Lee and Nattie wouldn't want them any other way. God truly blessed this couple with three sweet little ones. They call me Auntie Muffy and it melts me every time they utter my name. Lastly but definitely not least, my Nattie Joe. This woman has made such a lasting impression on my heart, through friendship, loyalty, faith, and family I can't believe someone like me has been so blessed to be touched by her love. This past year has had plenty of ups and downs for this family. They moved from Derby to Valley Center, had a run in with medical issues, and dealt with other trials and tribulations that every young couple goes through in life. Natalie decided a couple of months ago that she wanted to return to school this fall to obtain a degree in Physical Therapy. She was so excited to hear of all of the paperwork for her GI bill, and student loans being accepted. She was ready for the twins (Trinity and Chloe) to start school in the fall and had already enrolled Jasmine in daycare. Just when it seemed that things were starting to look up, they were hit with some rather disturbing news. Lee received military orders to report to Afghanistan. I immediately felt an overwhelming pull at my heart strings. Natalie and Lee were both left wondering how they were going to get through this. How was Natalie going to raise three girls on her own, go to school full time, and be the man and woman of her household? As much as I tried to reassure her that I knew she could do this, that I would be here to help her no matter what she needed. The reality set in that I could be leaving her as well. Being a military family, means they haven't stayed in one place for any length of time. It also means that they both come from two very different areas of the United States. Natalie from Oklahoma and Lee from New York. They have no family here. I prayed nightly that God would show Nat the strength that she needed to get through the next year. She and I talk everyday. With every passing day, Lee's date was inching closer and closer. The thought of him leaving her was beginning to weigh heavily on her mind. I knew that this was going to be a long haul for her, I knew that with prayer, love and faith, she could accomplish what is was that God had planned for her. She and I discovered lastnight that we could Skype each other, and it would be just like sitting in our living rooms talking like neighbors again. (I know we are geeks, but it was SAHWEEET!) After an hour or so we hung up. I saw a different Nat lastnight than I saw on Saturday at Lonny's. She was so tired. I couldn't help but think, this is only going to get worse, she is going to need me. I prayed hard lastnight. I prayed that God would somehow show Nattie the light, I prayed that He would hold her tightly in his arms the next few months guiding her through these trying times. Today I received this text message from Lee...
"just wanted to let you all know, the Boss cancelled my deployment to Afghanistan. The manning here is tight, so he could not send me. Thank God" Boy was he right, THANK GOD! What an awesome prayer answered! Trust me when I say, when I talked with Nattie this afternoon, I could tell a weight had been lifted from her. She could breathe and was thanking God every step of the way.
Next, a very good friend of mine is going through a very rough patch. She is recently divorced, raising two boys on her own, and in desperate need of a job. She has spent the last year in school getting her degree in Medical Coding. During which time holding down a full time job, taking excellent care of her boys, and maintaining a 4.0GPA. She has the drive and the dedication that most of us don't see in very many people. She has been applying for jobs daily since graduation to no avail. I spoke with her today and I could hear the desperation in her voice. I had no words of wisdom, nor any sound advice. I could only listen and try to be the best friend that I could possibly be. What I am asking is this. If you know of anyone that is looking for a Medical Billing Specialist or really anything to get her foot in the door somewhere please let me know. I would greatly appreciate it and I can't even begin to tell you how much stress it would lift off of this single moms kindred spirit. Until now please help me to pray for a positive outcome for her.
Lastly, Seattle. Still...nothing. We have heard several things through the grapevine but nothing definite. So we are still waiting. I can tell you, it's driving all of us crazy. Although he will never admit it, my Scooter feels like a sitting duck. He knows that this is the type of opportunity he has waited on his whole life. As a man, I think they stress about things like this more than a woman ever thought about. I just wish that I could take some of the heat off of his shoulders for him. I told him lastnight that I was worried how he would react if he was not given this position. I told him that I know he wants it badly and I don't want some thing like this to break his confidence in himself. He informed me of this, "It's all up to the Man upstairs, I have done all I can do it's out of my control now." Just to hear him say this made me feel so much better. Hopefully he will know something soon and the waiting game will be over. Until then, thank you for all of your continued support and prayers. We are hoping a decision is knocking on our back door. Until then God is on my speed dial, He is all we need. He is the strength that we all need to get through the road blocks on our path of life.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Slipping Through My Fingers

July, yep it's July and I am not even for sure what has happened to my friend June. She just slipped right on out the door yesterday with out a "so long" or "see ya later". I have to say I was glad to see her go. June is always our busiest month of the summer. It seems as though we get to where we are almost robotic in our daily ventures. So much so that I know I spend most of time trying to catch myself, yet I always slip right through my own fingers.
As I am blogging this I am wondering why I am continuing to let myself stress over everything. I mean EVERYTHING. I am sure that I promised, through prayer, that I was going to start doing better about giving these "stresses" to God. Just when I think I have gotten this giving it to God strive down...I find myself quickly raising my arm saying, "Wait! Wait a minute, I am not done stressing over this yet." Just before these little knicks in my day are about to slip from my fingers, I hurry and grab them up tight again. Ummm yeah, I just said that, I grab my stresses and hold onto them. It seems so ridiculous to type this when I know that He is there to help and guide me. Yet I still battle with trying to be in control. Who am I kidding? I know in my heart that things would be a lot easier if I would just put my faith in Him but still I juggle the temptations of evil.
"He'll here you." "You have to pray!" I tell myself this all the time but it takes getting to the end of my rope before I realize, to take a deep breath and pray. Let it go, have faith, and sit back and enjoy the ride. Seems so easy right? Yet another self realization, I haven't fully learned to lean and rely on him. Let his strength surround and protect me. I heard a song yesterday on KLove, "lay your head in My hands and let Me protect you" was one of the verses. The signs are all there, He is trying to call to me and I am not hearing Him.
What? Am I a control freak?...MMMMM yeah probably. How does one fully let go? Do you ever fully let go? When times are bad, you simply don't have a digging piece of evidence in your brain that you are stressed and struggling? I do. It nags at me until I break. I'm writing and crying because this full on realization is hurting. The choices I make that effect our lives I fully do it out of the best interest of our family. Still, some back fire and end up causing heart ache. Then the cycle starts again. Is this just the facts of life? Is He slipping through my fingers and the evil seeping in? Ugh it's to early for all of this deep thought. I think I need to get back in bed, and try this day again. I need to take heave and listen to His calling. Maybe today I will take the advice from my Yada Yada Prayer Group story, book 1. "on the days when I am feeling the worst I turn up my feel good Christian radio station and sing and dance a jig. Let that devil man try to hurt me when I am singing and dancing in the love of the Lord!"
God, please give me the strength I need to understand. What is it that I'm not seeing? Help me to lay my head in Your hands and cast over my heart the ways to your truths.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Where is my instruction book?

April 24? Are you kidding me? I haven't blogged since April 24? I'm thinking this baseball mom job has consumed me for the last couple of months. What an awesome season though! I feel truly blessed to have the boys on teams with amazing coaches. Axton and Aidyn will remember these times for the rest of their lives. The friends they have made, the goals they've achieved and the ability to work with others as a team will be traits that will help them as they grow in life. It was all thanks to a wonderful coaching staff.
Just when I think that my roller coaster is about to slow down it starts the climb up another hill. As of right now we are praying for an awesome opportunity for our family. Scott has applied for a position in Renton, WA. This Travis family is praying day and night to be given this amazing chance at what I'm sure will be a totally different way of life. Our boys have never seen a mountain so I am sure you can imagine their excitement when we told them this move was a possibility. With joy however, comes sadness. Scott and I have both lived here our entire lives. Neither of us have ever experienced living outside of the Derby or Mulvane area. In fact I can't really imagine what living anywhere else would be like. We are both ready to accept the challenge though if given the chance. When we broke the news to the boys, Aidyn and Alyjah were both ready to pack their bags and have asked everyday since if Daddy has "gotten the job". With each passing day, the waiting game is getting unbearable for them. My Ajax however, has very strong mixed emotions. Although he is super excited to maybe live somewhere that has the ocean and mountains, he has reservations about leaving his friends. I am sure that this would hold true for anyones child at his age. Axton is different though. He loves all of his buddies as though they are his brothers. Every single one of them. Last year we made the decision to move them into the Derby school district. With Ax being as outgoing as he is, it took him no time at all to make friends. Unlike most kids though, he never lost touch with his Mulvane friends. He still hangs with, talks to, and cares about them all very much. This is who he is, a boy with not only a huge heart, but an incredible soul. I can't help to ask myself this...are we making the right choice. I know that our destinys have already been planned for us. I realize that God has a plan for each and every one of us. I can't help but wonder how this change will affect my boys. I know that they will make friends and fit in just fine. If given this chance, what happens in three years when we come back and they have to leave the friends they have made in Washington. How much is too much? Are we going to be making the right choice? Where is my life's instruction book? Or what about the one that was supposed to be attached to the big toe of each of my boys when they were born? I have spent more time in my Bible these last few weeks than ever before in my life. I pray every night that Scott will here something soon and that the waiting game will be over. More importantly I pray that we have made the right decision for our boys. That we have chosen the right path in God's plan for our family. So I ask this of you who follow my blog. Pray that if given the opportunity, this family is taking the right direction in our unknown plan for life. Pray that God gives us the strength needed to make this transition if given the chance. I will keep you all posted as the days pass. Thank you for your prayers all my love, Muffy.

Monday, April 26, 2010

God Doesn't Like Ugly

Where has the time gone? As the years press on, I am this much closer to having a teenager in the house. I'm sure you know that with a teenager, whether male or female, comes the drama of the "tween" life. For me, I always thought this would be simple...after all, I didn't have girls... I never saw any of the boys my age go through the things I went through as a young girl. Ummm, not so much. It's a different kind of tween drama. I'm quickly learning that boys go through a different kind of drama, a sort of longing for acceptance if you will. I can see where these young men can easily fall off this treacherous path if not guided through life knowing the love of God and having the respect and love of a parent. Axton is only 11 years old and I have already seen changes in him. For those that don't know him, let me fill you in. Jax is his nickname, he is in the 5th grade this year. We are getting ready to make the big move into the middle school life. At first, I worried myself sick about this milestone. Why? You ask. It's not that I worried about him being mature enough, or even if he would have good friends and peers. I know that he is one smart cookie, so it wasn't even the fear of him falling short in his studies. It is in fact, the fear of the "real world". It's knowing he is no longer going to be exposed to something as small as the "elementary school" frame of mind. I am just now beginning to see all of the morals and values we have worked so hard to instill with in him coming into play. For example, he is currently playing baseball in a fairly competitive league. Jax has played with this same team now for two years. We feel truly blessed to be a part of such an amazing team. This year, the team received a new player. What you should know, is this, Axton and this young man have a sort of history. It started during football season last July. A sort of competitive battle ensued between the two boys. Our first day of school Axton goes into class, and low and behold, guess who is seated at Axton's table? I was extremely grateful when football season came to an end. I thought surely this battle would begin to ease a little. Boy, was I wrong. In everything and I do mean EVERYTHING that Ajax does, this young man feels the need to "one up" him. Whether it be in sports, PE, school work, or even girlfriends. Somehow, someway, this young man feels an empowering desire to be "better than" Axton. Do you know how hard it is to stay positive and show a positive level of adult maturity? All the while wanting to tell Axton to knock the kids block off! For those of you who don't know, I have been "blessed" with my father's patience and sharp tongue. This has definetly not worked in my favor :). For months now, I've listened to my son vent every day about how this young man has succeeded at getting under Axton's skin. There have been times when Scott and I, out of frustration, firmly tell Axton to ignore it. Generally, however, we listen and try to give the best advice possible given the situation. Yesterday the heavens opened, and the angels were singing. :) For the first time in all of this I saw this young man of ours exhibiting proof that he will soon be a stellar young man. He and I took a bike ride yesterday and ended up at the park by his school. We stopped there with his friend Nick to play a little hand ball. As we approached, we were greeted by a certain young man...(GOODY! I thought) Jax and Nick, being the respectful boys they are, said hello and asked if he and his brothers would like to play with us. Of course....they did. I was able to see first hand the behavior Axton had been telling me about. We weren't there but 5 minutes and the little punk had already tried to take off on Jax's bike, tackling him in the process, and was telling Axton how much he sucked at basketball because he missed a shot. As a mother bear, it took everything I had not to rip that child up by the hair on his head and read him the riot act. This behavior went on until Axton hit the "breaking point". He looked at this young man and said, "*---*(boy's name) God doesn't like ugly". :) He turned to me and said he was ready to go home. So, we hopped on the bikes and rode home. It wasn't until he and I were alone that I asked him about his statement. This is what he said, "Mom, I really dont like *---*. I try to be nice to him no matter how mean he is because God doesn't like ugly." I told him that I was proud of him because this behavior in return makes him the better person. I told him that I would have never been able to handle it like he did. He than said this, "It doesn't make me a better person, it just shows that God is in my heart and I don't have to be ugly to get my friends attention. I have God's attention and your's and dad's, what else could I need?"
It's not that our children are growing apart from us, it's that we are growing with our children. Growing in love with them more and more everyday. I look at Ax in a totally different light. He is a young man, growing more and more every day. He is loved and respected by his peers but more improtantly by us. For this I will forever be grateful! Thank you God for blessing me with three of the most amazing little men to ever walk the face of the earth.

Proverbs 10:13
Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgement.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Honey is Sweeter Than Vinegar

What a very eventful week I have had. Since last Tuesday I've been on a roller coaster ride that just wouldn't stop to let me off. That is, until I made it stop. So true is it, the closer we come to God, the harder Satan works and presses against us. Here I thought I was going along in life in my "perfect peace". All the while I was losing touch with those who matter most. Sometimes we find ourselves taking life for granted and this too was my demon. It took a true EYE OPENER and I do mean EYE OPENER to make me realize honey IS in fact sweeter than vinegar. Anytime I run myself ashore, my mother is always there to say...Muffy, honey is sweeter than vinegar, you have to pick your battles. Was she sooo RIGHT ON. Sadly it has taken me 15 years, the book, Song of Songs in the Bible, and the harsh reality that I was tearing my marriage to shreds to figure this out. I have looked to God for more advice with in the last few days than I have in all my life. These verses are finally what made me sit back, open my eyes, and check myself. Song of Songs 5:2-8
Instead of focusing on the positives in my life, I had learned to pick at all of the negative. Losing sight of what I had before me. We don't live in a "relationship savvy" society. In fact it's quite the opposite. Therefore we have to be each other's rock. When he needed me most, I pushed him away? MY needs were more important, at least I thought. How selfish can I be to think I never make a mistake?
Don't let my wake up call be your own. Don't let the evil one in before you realize how much you need, love, and appreciate your soul mate. Don't take for granted all of the things that he/she does for you...especially those of you who are a stay at home parent like myself. I promised to love, cherish, respect and honor Scott all the days of my life til death do us part. I didn't just promise it to him, I promised this to God as well. I am comforted now knowing my faults, accepting them, and am now striving everyday to improve myself. I am not only improving my faults though, I am rebuilding. The two "D" words will not be in this marriage's vocabulary...ever. I am talking about divorce or the devil. I pray everyday that God will give us the strength to empower our evils and win the battle. I know he will.
Take a minute everyday and let your spouse know how much he/she means to you. Tell them how much you appreciate, trust, and love them for all they do for you. Marriage is a bond that takes strength to build itself everyday. Strength to fight off the evil and survive the stresses of society. For this journey has made me realize I love this man before me now more than ever. I respect him now more than ever and most importantly WE need one another now more than ever.
Honey is in fact MUCH sweeter than vinegar...and yes...Mother does CERTAINLY know BEST! If only we could learn this lesson earlier in life :)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Here I Go Again

So, I am hoping that my second attempt at this doesn't fail as miserably as the first time around. I have a good friend who blogs and she has inspired me to try this again. I love reading her positive words of encouragement everyday. Who knows? Maybe I will say something intriguing one day :). For now, I will keep it simple.
I am a mom to three absolutely beautiful boys who are the light of my life. I strive everyday to make positive, sound choices that will eventually make them wonderful young men. I want them to love God, life, their families and most importantly themselves. I am finding that this ride is going by way to swiftly and before long they will no longer be under my wing. At which time I will have to set them free with the hopes and dreams I have always prayed for each of them to have. For the meantime, I drive them from practice to practice, friend's house to friend's house and back again. In case you didn't know a mom to three young boys is very busy. Stressful? You bet! It's not a busy I would trade for anything else in the world. They are the ones who make me who I am today and I can't thank them enough. Before the boys though, came Scott.
We have been married for almost twelve years now and together for fifteen. I am almost positive that we have experienced more in our first twelve years together than most couples do in twenty. At least I pray not everyone's rode is as bumpy. The most important part, we have made it through it all and still love each other more and more everyday. He is my rock, my bestfriend, and my soul mate. I couldn't have asked God for anyone better to be a father for my children or the love of my life. I thank God everyday for Scott and my three boys, for wrapping his arms around me in all of our times of need, and for giving me hope every single day.