Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Trudging Through the Mud, While Climbing the Tallest Mountain

This Mom is "back in session". The boys have returned after being gone for a week, I kinda forgot what it was like to have a responsibility :). I am however, so glad they made it safely home with Nana Monday night. More importantly they got to spend time with their great grandfather. These are the times for which they will always be grateful for. Best of all they are the perfect age to remember all of his Pop Pop'isms. For example when he calls Alyjah Ally Jo from the Alamo. Our Pop Pop Rocks!
Just after the 4th of July Jax played in the State Tournament with his baseball team the Derby Orioles I can't help but brag and tell you that his team took 3rd in the state of Kansas. Yes, you read that right, 3RD IN THE WHOLE STATE! All bragging rights aside I got to spend the weekend with a very good girlfriend of mine. We haven't been "good" friends for all that long, but over the last couple of years I have learned what an awesome spirit she is. This girlfriend of mine is in a "rough" spot right now and I pray for God to comfort her and give her peace on a daily basis. As the weekend rushed by us, and our chic chats came to an end, I found a quote that fit her perfectly. Just in time too. Having three boys in a Honda Civic does not leave much room for "adult conversation". So, I felt blessed to have found this quote before we were subject to nothing but PG rated conversations. Here is the quote...
Things happen for a reason. People change so we can learn to let go. Things go wrong, so that we can appreciate them when they go right. And good things often fall apart so that better things can fall together.
I noticed this morning that she had posted this quote on her facebook page. It was a good feeling to know that I had found something that could possibly ease her pain. Yet, as I read the quote it spoke to me today more than it did two weeks ago. Every sentence in these statements speaks volumes in my life right now. Why does it take me reading them on a Facebook wall to realize that there is so much truth behind every one of the statements?
Things happen for a reason. So many times we wonder who, what, when, where and why? It's all in the plan. Everything is paved and enscribed in our path. It's whether we trudge through the mud or look for the high road. Isn't the trudge what makes us who we are? It shapes us for what ever it is our future holds.
People change so we can learn to let go. A hard one for me to personally swallow. People are put in our lives to set an impression in one way or another. I believe it's all in how we handle the outcome that makes us who we are. Paths cross when you are both at a "trudging" point, then seperate when one of you takes the "high road". It isn't until you are both on the same path to salvation, aiding one another in the "trudge",that you realize how important you are in the life of one another. If your paths never cross again take what God intended for you to gain out of this relationship and use it to move mountains on your path of life. After all, do we not lead best by example?
Things go wrong so we can appreciate them when they go right. Learn from your mistakes, you are your worst critic. Pick up the pieces and learn to let go of what set you astray. These are the times our evils are lurking to intervene. Before long, the mud becomes your quick sand and you are struggling for air. If we could all just see how to make a mosaic out of the broken pieces it would be so much easier to trudge the mud. If Jesus had not picked up the pieces on his path to salvation where would we all be now? There's a deep thought for the day...
And good things often fall apart so that better things can fall together. So many times we catch ourselves asking God, "Can it get any worse?" It can always be worse. Why do we wait until we are seeing or hearing of something life altering or damaging in someone else's life before we realize that it can always be worse? It's almost sickening to think someone else's misery can be an eye opener for the rest of us. If we could all just live in the way God intended. If we could just realize our trudge through the mud currently in our way, is only drying some of the puddles that could create havoc in our future. Be there for one another, be someone's elses rock. "Study and teach the inspiration of the truth in Jesus because anyone can believe in Jesus, the awesomeoness is in following and loving him."
As for me, I can tell you there is so much going on in life right now,that is testing the trust I have in my own faith. I'm learning now more than ever that my mud puddles are out of my hands and I can only trudge through them as Jesus did for me. I have learned that for all things there is a bigger plan, that I definetly do not know the answers to. I continue to pray for His guidance through the mud or give me strength to conquer the mountains. Whether it be climbing over them or moving them, they are there for a reason and only He has the anwers. My faith is in Him as I look for a way to keep trudging my path and feel blessed that I am learning to give it all up to God.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

God Is On My Speed Dial

What an awesome weekend! I love being able to spend time with close family and friends during holiday weekends. It seems as though during the summer months, with everyone's busy schedules, holidays are the only weekends we are able to all get together. With Scott's brothers and himself being the "pyros" they are, any 4th of July celebration with us is sure to be phenomenal! This season proved nothing different. With Lonny's on Saturday and the Murray's on Sunday there was tons of fun to be had by all.
I thought today I would update everyone on the status of a possible move to Seattle, as well as a couple of other things that I have been praying for over the last few weeks.
Let me start with an update on the Lewis'. Lee and Natalie Lewis and their three girls came into our lives 3 years ago. Since then I could never imagine my life without them. Lee is like the brother that I never had, giving me a taste of my own with his fiery attitude to compete with mine. I know...can you imagine? I never in a million years would have thought I would meet my match in "hard headedness"...I have :). Trinity, Chloe, and Jasmine are nothing short of beautiful. Those three little girls could put a smile on anyones face. They give their mommy and daddy one heck of a run for their money, but Lee and Nattie wouldn't want them any other way. God truly blessed this couple with three sweet little ones. They call me Auntie Muffy and it melts me every time they utter my name. Lastly but definitely not least, my Nattie Joe. This woman has made such a lasting impression on my heart, through friendship, loyalty, faith, and family I can't believe someone like me has been so blessed to be touched by her love. This past year has had plenty of ups and downs for this family. They moved from Derby to Valley Center, had a run in with medical issues, and dealt with other trials and tribulations that every young couple goes through in life. Natalie decided a couple of months ago that she wanted to return to school this fall to obtain a degree in Physical Therapy. She was so excited to hear of all of the paperwork for her GI bill, and student loans being accepted. She was ready for the twins (Trinity and Chloe) to start school in the fall and had already enrolled Jasmine in daycare. Just when it seemed that things were starting to look up, they were hit with some rather disturbing news. Lee received military orders to report to Afghanistan. I immediately felt an overwhelming pull at my heart strings. Natalie and Lee were both left wondering how they were going to get through this. How was Natalie going to raise three girls on her own, go to school full time, and be the man and woman of her household? As much as I tried to reassure her that I knew she could do this, that I would be here to help her no matter what she needed. The reality set in that I could be leaving her as well. Being a military family, means they haven't stayed in one place for any length of time. It also means that they both come from two very different areas of the United States. Natalie from Oklahoma and Lee from New York. They have no family here. I prayed nightly that God would show Nat the strength that she needed to get through the next year. She and I talk everyday. With every passing day, Lee's date was inching closer and closer. The thought of him leaving her was beginning to weigh heavily on her mind. I knew that this was going to be a long haul for her, I knew that with prayer, love and faith, she could accomplish what is was that God had planned for her. She and I discovered lastnight that we could Skype each other, and it would be just like sitting in our living rooms talking like neighbors again. (I know we are geeks, but it was SAHWEEET!) After an hour or so we hung up. I saw a different Nat lastnight than I saw on Saturday at Lonny's. She was so tired. I couldn't help but think, this is only going to get worse, she is going to need me. I prayed hard lastnight. I prayed that God would somehow show Nattie the light, I prayed that He would hold her tightly in his arms the next few months guiding her through these trying times. Today I received this text message from Lee...
"just wanted to let you all know, the Boss cancelled my deployment to Afghanistan. The manning here is tight, so he could not send me. Thank God" Boy was he right, THANK GOD! What an awesome prayer answered! Trust me when I say, when I talked with Nattie this afternoon, I could tell a weight had been lifted from her. She could breathe and was thanking God every step of the way.
Next, a very good friend of mine is going through a very rough patch. She is recently divorced, raising two boys on her own, and in desperate need of a job. She has spent the last year in school getting her degree in Medical Coding. During which time holding down a full time job, taking excellent care of her boys, and maintaining a 4.0GPA. She has the drive and the dedication that most of us don't see in very many people. She has been applying for jobs daily since graduation to no avail. I spoke with her today and I could hear the desperation in her voice. I had no words of wisdom, nor any sound advice. I could only listen and try to be the best friend that I could possibly be. What I am asking is this. If you know of anyone that is looking for a Medical Billing Specialist or really anything to get her foot in the door somewhere please let me know. I would greatly appreciate it and I can't even begin to tell you how much stress it would lift off of this single moms kindred spirit. Until now please help me to pray for a positive outcome for her.
Lastly, Seattle. Still...nothing. We have heard several things through the grapevine but nothing definite. So we are still waiting. I can tell you, it's driving all of us crazy. Although he will never admit it, my Scooter feels like a sitting duck. He knows that this is the type of opportunity he has waited on his whole life. As a man, I think they stress about things like this more than a woman ever thought about. I just wish that I could take some of the heat off of his shoulders for him. I told him lastnight that I was worried how he would react if he was not given this position. I told him that I know he wants it badly and I don't want some thing like this to break his confidence in himself. He informed me of this, "It's all up to the Man upstairs, I have done all I can do it's out of my control now." Just to hear him say this made me feel so much better. Hopefully he will know something soon and the waiting game will be over. Until then, thank you for all of your continued support and prayers. We are hoping a decision is knocking on our back door. Until then God is on my speed dial, He is all we need. He is the strength that we all need to get through the road blocks on our path of life.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Slipping Through My Fingers

July, yep it's July and I am not even for sure what has happened to my friend June. She just slipped right on out the door yesterday with out a "so long" or "see ya later". I have to say I was glad to see her go. June is always our busiest month of the summer. It seems as though we get to where we are almost robotic in our daily ventures. So much so that I know I spend most of time trying to catch myself, yet I always slip right through my own fingers.
As I am blogging this I am wondering why I am continuing to let myself stress over everything. I mean EVERYTHING. I am sure that I promised, through prayer, that I was going to start doing better about giving these "stresses" to God. Just when I think I have gotten this giving it to God strive down...I find myself quickly raising my arm saying, "Wait! Wait a minute, I am not done stressing over this yet." Just before these little knicks in my day are about to slip from my fingers, I hurry and grab them up tight again. Ummm yeah, I just said that, I grab my stresses and hold onto them. It seems so ridiculous to type this when I know that He is there to help and guide me. Yet I still battle with trying to be in control. Who am I kidding? I know in my heart that things would be a lot easier if I would just put my faith in Him but still I juggle the temptations of evil.
"He'll here you." "You have to pray!" I tell myself this all the time but it takes getting to the end of my rope before I realize, to take a deep breath and pray. Let it go, have faith, and sit back and enjoy the ride. Seems so easy right? Yet another self realization, I haven't fully learned to lean and rely on him. Let his strength surround and protect me. I heard a song yesterday on KLove, "lay your head in My hands and let Me protect you" was one of the verses. The signs are all there, He is trying to call to me and I am not hearing Him.
What? Am I a control freak?...MMMMM yeah probably. How does one fully let go? Do you ever fully let go? When times are bad, you simply don't have a digging piece of evidence in your brain that you are stressed and struggling? I do. It nags at me until I break. I'm writing and crying because this full on realization is hurting. The choices I make that effect our lives I fully do it out of the best interest of our family. Still, some back fire and end up causing heart ache. Then the cycle starts again. Is this just the facts of life? Is He slipping through my fingers and the evil seeping in? Ugh it's to early for all of this deep thought. I think I need to get back in bed, and try this day again. I need to take heave and listen to His calling. Maybe today I will take the advice from my Yada Yada Prayer Group story, book 1. "on the days when I am feeling the worst I turn up my feel good Christian radio station and sing and dance a jig. Let that devil man try to hurt me when I am singing and dancing in the love of the Lord!"
God, please give me the strength I need to understand. What is it that I'm not seeing? Help me to lay my head in Your hands and cast over my heart the ways to your truths.